I'm probably a writer now...

I think that maybe I like to write. Maybe I'm not a good writer, but you will have to judge for yourself. My first "story" is how to pick up a girl at the bar. I believe if you follow this guideline your game will improve ten fold.

 A Red Bull truck driver and a girl... Red Bull truck driver enters the bar. Scans the area for his first target. He spots a girl at the bar. She is a little below average looking, but still cute. Mostly. Conversation on the part of Red Bull begins...Porno music plays in your head...

 "Hey baby. What's your name? Wait....wait...don't tell me. I know it already. What's that baby? What's my name? Listen sugar, they call me Dr. Everything will be all right, all right. You know it baby. Your name must be beautiful cause that's the first name that I thought of when I saw you.  But you seem like a classy lady in your pleated khakis and polo shirt. So, I bet it's beautiful. Yeah, that's right. Listen baby, what do you say we get outta here? I'll take you to Taco Bell baby. A classy girl deserves the best. Let's go."

Arrive at Taco Bell "Baby, let's get you one of them Dorito tacos. What do you say? You would look so sexy eating a Dorito taco. What's that? You want two? Girl, I hardly know you. Let's start with one sexy taco. Mmmmmmm....girl....let's eat. Oh baby you look so sexy with that Dorito taco juice running down your chin. What was that girl? What's your plan? Why yes, yes I do want to lick the Dorito dust from your fingers. Nacho cheese. Love it. Girl you know how to treat a man. Hey baby, what's the matter? I thought we were havin a good time here? Girl I didn't get a Dorito taco. I have no Dorito dust on my fingers, to give to you baby. No, no, just relax sugar. Why you getting all crazy up in my grill? Girl I'll run next door to the gas station and get some Cheetos. Cheeto dust is better baby. Oh, you don't want Cheeto dust. Maybe a pork egg roll? Girl you need to stop with all the yellin. I'm givin you all I got girl. Listen baby, I don't think it's workin out. You crazy. Maybe I will pretend to go to the bathroom and get out of this car-cra situation. Crap girl was that out loud? Damn.  Baby, you need to step off. I'm gonna go get me a dollar pork egg roll at the gas station. Peace.

This is the end of the story. I'm pretty sure the girl walked home and was fine. She probably watched some tv and ate a pickle. The Red Bull man died the next day in a traffic accident with a vodka delivery truck. My first story. I'm a writer now!